"Benedict Christopher Thomas" (1974)

Benedict Christopher Thomas is fumbling his way through the firm
Never fulfilling the promise he showed in his brilliant probationary term
Bosses detect his sad lapses, clients are starting to guess
Everyone knows - only Mary still regards him as quite a success
She's waiting for Chris' promotion; it's surely the least he deserves
She's polishing windows and tables and bottling jams and preserves
Mary would like living somewhere a little bit grander than here
Cos' a semi-detached in West Ruislip really is something to fear
It's greener out in Rickmansworth and Amersham's a must
But if we could its Chorley Wood or bust

For the moment contented (as far as can tell)
There's Benedict Christopher Thomas and his yellow Cortina XL
Talking of elegant living, all very Sunday Times
With holidays out in Bermuda and other sub-tropical climes
But you're getting older and have I got some news
You got the I-am-not-so-young-executive blues

Benedict Christopher Thomas is grimly clenching his pipe
And jealously guarding his office from a young university type
Oozing Eton, Oxford and influence all over the place
The word is about that he's on the way out and he's falling behind in the race
They're coveting his salary and slipping into his shoes
They're borrowing his secretary and knocking back his booze
It's whispered in the corridors and written in the loos
He's got the I-am-not-so-young-executive blues

The personal manager comfort was, "It isn't as bad as it seems.
We've a quite indestructible, taxes-deductible, pension redundancy scheme
We don't want to loose you - but we think you ought to go
Credibility gap - slice of the cake - crack of the whip - you know!"
So he's leaving his freehold in Ruislip and moving to Frinton-On-Sea
The company bought him a gift in a frame - they were really as nice as could be.
And Amersham is a world away from Mary the practical wife
And Benedict Christopher Thomas remembers the best of his life
That's the way it is today, if you don't win you lose
And get the I-am-not-so-young-executive blues
So when the company calls you it's safer to refuse
Than get the I-am-not-so-young-executive blues

 

"Follow the Drum" (1973)

I follow the drum and I laugh with the clown
And the roundabout keeps spinning round and around
From the legends of gold to the stories of old
In their turn
And there's never a one to be missed in the town
While the roundabout keeps spinning round and around
And around

Ah! But once I was loved
And I walked by the long waterside
And that I loved I can't hide

So I've written a song which I'll sing now and then
To a lover, a poet, a mistress, a friend
A ghost in the garden whose memory
Pardon denies
And I follow the drum and I laugh with the clown
And the roundabout keeps spinning round and around
And around

Ah! But once I was loved
And I walked by the long waterside
And that I loved I can't hide

We all dream our dreams in the innocent days
Illusions are painted and fantasies made
For right or for wrong, frightened and strong
In our turn
Then we follow the drum and we laugh with the clown
And the roundabout starts spinning round and around

Ah! But once we were loved
And we walked by the long waterside
And that we loved we can't hide.

 

"I Can't Get You Out of My Mind" (2005)

She looked so familiar I thought it was you
She wore her hair like you used to do
But she wasn't who I hoped I'd find
I can't get you out of my mind.

Nine o'clock mornings with nothing to do
Coffee for one not tea for two
I thought that we were sealed and signed
I can't get you out of my mind.

All the people we knew back when
I miss them all today
All the places we went back then
Seem so far away

One day I'll wake up and not think of you
One day I take up with somebody new
But till my life's been re-defined
I can't get you out of my mind.

 

"It Always Takes A Team" (updated January 2007)

(Verse)
In this world it’s a constant complaint
Some say there’s a perfect partner
Others say there ain’t
But like scotch and soda, coffee and cream
You and me could make the perfect team

Just as one and one make two
Every ‘vo-de-oh-do’ needs a ‘boo-boo-pe-do’
It always takes a team
Pamela Sue and silicone
Rod Serling in the Twilight Zone
It always takes a team
Chain store and Macy
Hepburn and Tracy
Hooded headsman and Anne Boleyn
Jolson and talkies
Lassie and walkies
Innocent bystander and a Mickey Finn
Like Jesse James in the old wild west
Every waiting room needs its Reader’s Digest
It always takes a team

It takes two thighs to make a lap
It takes two hands to help you clap
It always takes a team
You need the soap to get the suds
Without Daffy Duck there’s no Elmer Fudds
It always takes a team
Abbott and Costello
Iago and Othello
Flags and the 4th of July
Queen Mary and dockside
Blond and peroxide
J Edgar Hoover and the FBI
Just like a shoreline needs the sea
Ulysses Grant needed Robert E Lee
It always takes a team

Gatsby and Zaelda
Shoes and Emelda
Chopsticks and chicken chow main
Swamps and alligators
Meat and sweet potatoes
Tarzan and Jane

You need a crooner to croon a tune
You need the creature & the Black Lagoon
It always takes a team
Hope and Crosby could not go far
Without Morocco or Zanzibar
It always takes a team
Wireless and cable
Lombard and Gable
Chicago and Al Capone
Roy Rogers and Trigger
Dolly and her figure
An out-of-order notice and a telephone
Like the big creator and his great design
You and me - we’ll do just fine
It always takes a team

Like Captain Hook and Mr. Smee
It’s plain to see that you need me
Like Nayland Smith and Fu Manchu
It’s quite true that I need you
Like rum and molasses
Jackie Onassis and an ocean liner or two
You need me and baby I need you

(A great way to cure insomnia: lie there in bed and compose more verses to this song in your head..zzzzzzzz)

 

"Michaela" (1973)

May I just occupy a moment fleetingly?
Though it may seem odd when said by me
I want to tell you all the things you used to do and say
Now it is your wedding day
You've grown a lot, it’s just not true
And I can hardly recognize it's you

You were a stranger for a moment of your life
But you grew and we got to know you better
Even when we lost our heads a little now and then
It didn't really matter in the end
And that's the way it’s always been
We the court and you the queen

In a mirror once I saw
You tossed your head and I knew that you were growing
Spring came and the winter snows between
Summer afternoons and autumn dreams
May you lead a gentle life.
May you make a loving wife.
May all your wildest dreams come true
Just like ours used to do

What more can I say?
Michaela may you always be the lucky one
And just one thing before I'm done
You were really loved when you were young.

May you lead a gentle life
May you make a loving wife
May all your wildest dreams come true
Just like ours used to do

May I just occupy a moment fleetingly?
Though it may seem odd when said by me
I want to tell you all the things you used to do and say
Now it is your wedding day

 

"When I Was Young And Easy" (1971) 

When I was young and easy and the king of all my days
I rode the vanity and narrow pride of all my ways
All the highborn ladies and all the low down men
Are gone and past forever but I still remember when
I was picking up bits of paper more or less endlessly
Telling them what I did for school and what school did for me 

Salvatorian College Harrow Weald 

Days of reassurance, to keep from going mad
I read most every paperback the Penguin Library had.
I slept through more instruction than was ever good to be
And dreamt that Annie Sullivan was still in love with me
In my dream I lay exhausted in my dream I had my fill
Of the silken curls of the wayward girls from the convent on the hill 

 

I bet Patrick's in the clergy now and Paul is running free
And Nick lives south of Surbiton in tasteful privacy
Angela got married, Janet disappeared
And Elizabeth has ended up exactly as I feared

While in between the times we put the world to flight
We kissed each others sweethearts on sinful Friday night
We fell in love for pleasure and in ourselves we knew
What we said was right and what we did was true 

 

The older and the wiser ones tried to understand
Our guarded conversations and the secrets we had planned
The coming of the evening, the staying of the night
Pages turned, lessons learned and the fears we put to flight

On municipal grasses we lay my love and I
Close as our embraces and open as the sky
Small she was and golden and cunning as the sun
And when I come to think of it now she was the only one. 

When I was young and easy and the king of all my days
I rode the vanity and narrow pride of all my ways
The king's in his castle and queen is at the ball
The kids are back in school again, Good God just bless you all

Back to your houses and homes you will be
Or wherever you live in this fair country
And do you remember or is it just me
When we were young and easy in the class of '63.